Where's Timbuktu?

Mommy? I've got a parcel I need to post...

I'll Get You, My Frisbee

Mommy thought it would be funny to put my frisbee on a pole.

 

This is why Mommy has no friends and only has me to talk to.

And I don't get a choice in the matter.

HA.

I win.

As usual.

Who *really* won Wimbledon??

Hey y'all.
Yeah, I'm from Georgia. 
I can say that.


Anyway, sorry I haven't been around lately.
There have been A LOT of tennis balls trying to escape my garden,
and I've had to round those suckers up. 

Don't worry, though.
I've got it all under control.

Charades

See, Daddy?

This is what the mouse looked like after Mia played with it.

I told you she is a monster. 

Enemy Forces are Gathering

The sheep weren't so bad without a leader...

and Mia the cat wasn't so bad without minions.

Crap.

I'm in trouble now.

Doorbell

I like to announce when people come to our house.

Even if it's just Mommy.

I mean, Daddy might need some warning...

Presenting...

TA-DA!

Oh.

I'm supposed to follow that up with something?

I thought just seeing me was enough...

Doga

I was trying that doggy yoga.

My downward dog got tiiiiiiiiired.

Now I'm doggy meditating.

boooooooonnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeee

Defender of the Castle

There's a Sloan-sized platform,

my head fits right in...

this is the perfect barking window!

Mommy, we need a castle!

Oh, oh! Can we get a moat?!?

Just no monsters.

Guys, Let's Get Serious.

Before he became my little brother to beat up,

Max had two other sisters.

Mommy is talking about them, and other dogs and cats who don't have families, 

over on her blog today.

You should read it.

I'm gonna go get lots of cuddles,

since that's what Mommy wants when she gets sad.

Sloan Kent? Superdog?

I'm supposed to change what  in here?

Seriously, guys. I'm a dog.

I don't wear clothes.

MOMMY YOU PUT THAT AWAY RIGHT NOW!

Not in front of my friends!

Miss Repetitive

Throw it

Throw it

Throw it

Throw it

Here.

Now...

Throw it

...

Evil Moves Next Door!

 A couple of weeks ago we got some new neighbors.

Evil neighbors.

I'm watching them.

I've got Brother watching them, too.

But I don't think he understands how bad the situation is.

Don't look into its eyes!

That's how it got Mommy!

Brother Abuse

Mommy, here.

Just in case you needed further proof of Sloan's royal-mindset, she went into our conservatory (sunroom) and "nested" on the couch- she enjoys tossing and piling up the pillows to make a bed/fort. 

I heard her in there, and I knew Max was in there earlier, but I didn't think anything of it,

since normally he'd have stomped out when she started nesting, as he loathes environmental disturbances.

I later realized I hadn't seen Max in a while, so I went to check,

and was surprised to see him under Sloan's pillow fort! 

I'm not sure if he liked it or was too scared to move!

So Much Rain

I still do this.  By "this", I mean sprawl all over Daddy and the couch.

It's raining all the time.

I know Mommy doesn't like to go out in the rain,

so I don't make her.

Mommy edit: False. I prefer not to go out in the rain, but I will for the dogs.  Sloan, on the other hand, is convinced she'll melt.  Because of this she owns two raincoats: one winter and one summer. She's still so dramatic about it I keep threatening to get her a bucket hat or Doggles.

Since we've been inside,

Mommy's been looking at old pictures of me.

She shows them to me, 

as if I forgot what I used to look like:

the same adorableness, just with a darker mask.

Silly Mommy.

I Have No Words.

Mommy just found this gem.

I have no idea why she did this to me.

Maybe she thought if J. Crew ever came out with a dog line they'd need models.

Why me?

The Caboose Takes the Lead

Hello.

My name is Max and Sloan is my Big Sister.

She asked me to write about how she's such a great Sister.

...

...

...

Uhhhhh...

Mommy, where's the "shrug" button?

Play Hard, Sleep Hard

Sunbasking is high on my list of favorite activities.

Definitely on the first paw.

If One is Good, Then Two Are Better

Finally.

After trying to get my point across all these years,

Mommy and Daddy are layering my beds.

If mattresses get pillow-tops,

why not put a bed-top on my chair?

Plus, it sure is easier to hog two spots when they're stacked on each other.  

Not that I would EVER do something like that...

Sous-Chef

I'm Daddy's helper in the kitchen.

Usually I just get to clean up the floors, 

but occasionally I get to smell the counters.

(Mommy edit: Only when it's cute, and only for a quick picture!!)

Now just to figure out how to be the taste-tester...

New Blood

The gangs are recruiting.

They've got all these new members...

and they seem all small and chase-able, 

but then they grow up.

I'm on to you, 

sheep.

Please leave me alone?!

Sleeping On Duty

Mommy, here.

I was pulling in our driveway, a process that involves waiting for our slow electric gate to open and then reversing into my spot.  Not a quick activity.

Normally, Sloan is up and wagging her tail, or, if she's feeling extra annoying, barking.

(I by no means am implying that tail-wagging is annoying- I love it, in fact.)

Well, as I pulled in the driveway, Sloan was asleep, sunbasking.

She didn't even budge.

She's falling down on the job a little, I'd say!

English Jungle Dog

If I lie still, maybe Mommy and Daddy won't see me...

and I can stay at the park ALL DAY!

What You've Been Waiting For (Whether You Knew It or Not)

 Yeah.  You can die happy now.

I was the cutest thing EVER.  

Well, I still am, but that's because I don't have to compete with baby me.

a·dor·a·ble/əˈdôrəbəl/

Adjective- Inspiring great affection; delightful; charming

Noun- Baby Sloan

uh, of course!

Can't a Girl Get Some Sleep Around Here?

How come you never want to play with me when I'm awake,

but as soon as I'm asleep you're all poking me and picking me up and sticking cameras in my face?

Talkin' about how cute and adorable I am...

pffffffft.

I'm that ALL the time.

Just a little extra when I'm sleeping.

Little Sisters Aren't All They're Cracked Up to Be

I thought this thing Mia had potential to be a new playmate.

But I'm a little scared of her kind of crazy.

What's the Big Deal?

With all the talk about golf, I thought I'd try it.

 So I dropped my ball in this hole...

and?

This is ridiculous.

Daddy, put down that plastic stick and help me rescue my ball.

I've already got a green jacket and I'm the Master at The Greatest Sport EVER:

fetch.

Seeking Employment

Mommy keeps telling me to get a job.

Apparently my food and toys cost moneys?

I've seen other dogs chase these big Non-Dogs, 

and humans call it work.

After some consideration,

I don't think I want to do this.

I'm gonna hold out for responses to my ad.

Dogs Allowed

I love pubs. 

A lot of them let me in.

Strangely, they let Brother in, too.

I guess they're not that discerning.

Anyway.

I tried to sit on the booth like a good girl does.

I know how to sit properly in my seat at the table.

Instead, Mommy and Daddy made me sit on the floor.

Oh, well.

Just means my face is closer to the food!

Leather and Pearls

Last year Mommy tried to make me pose with Sir Dodo Brother in these flowers.

Ha.

You can't pose with flowers when you're this tough.

I'm gonna get a motorcycle.

At least a sidecar.

I'd look hot in a leather vest.

ROAD TRIP!

I love taking trips.

I get to sniff so many smells,

pee on so many new things,

and show the world how adorable I am.

Oh, and the people watching isn't so bad, either.

I Just Wanted the Crumbs!

 Mommy's note: I was making room in our freezer for the new groceries and I put the remaining fish fillet in a ziploc to condense the space.  No sooner had I set the box down but Sloan picked it up- with her face.

She did this once as a puppy with a tissue box and proceeded to run into everything like a drunk Tyrannosaurus (she had a big head as a puppy), making us laugh hysterically.

Now, 8 years later, she has higher standards for the box she puts her head into and didn't walk around, but we still got a laugh! 

uhhhh... guys?

%&#*$*# they're all laughing at me and nobody's helping me...

Well, guys, I hear payback and I have something in common!

Lazy Afternoon

My Daddy and I are just havin' a nap in the park.

Come back tomorrow for snark.

Today's about sunshine and snuggles.

What's That Touching My Leg?!?!

there are no sharks in rivers-there are no sharks in rivers

there are no sharks in rivers-there are no sharks in-

HANG ON.

Can that Nessie thing swim down here?!?!

St. Patrick's Whatever.

I've tried to tell Mommy I don't play dress-up.

Coats are fine when I'm cold.

But none of this goofy crap.

I'll show her I'm not wearing that stupid hat...

Family Pictures

I've been posing for Mommy's incessant camera for 8 1/2 years now.

When will she just LET ME BE?!?!

In other news:

 No, his tongue isn't abnormally long- 

his head is just abnormally small.

Lean on You?

{link}

Some dogs act like footstools for their humans.

Yeah, right.

Not in this house.

In this house, the humans act like backrests (and pillows) for the dogs.  Oh, who am I kidding...

Everyone in the house is furniture to me.