*Note From Sloan's Mommy*

Hello, this is Sloan's Mommy.

I'm sorry to tell you that Sloan won't be leaving a post tonight, 

as she's been quite bad today and is now pouting.

Our walk today wasn't optimal, as there were hunters in the forest so I had both dogs on lead.

This apparently led to Sloan and Max deciding to bark, lunge, and knock me off my feet each time we saw another human and dog.

Upon arriving home, both dogs needed baths, and Sloan was rather uncooperative.

She has had her internet privileges taken away for the evening.

Please stop by tomorrow, which I'm hoping will be a better day for all of us.

Happy New Year, from Sloan's family.

WHAT. IS. THIS.

Excuse me.

I need to go take care of this.

We're too fast

We've got to move fast

when we're out at dusk.

You never know

when the nightcritters

are coming out.

Have to have all regular patrolling done first,

so I can concentrate on the chasing.

I don't feel so good...

My tummy hurts sometimes.

Mommy says I have an Irritable... bowl?

Right now is one of those sometimes.  

My mommy is 

rubbing my back,

and tucking me in,

and being real nice,

but I feel yucky.

Merry Christmas!

May all your beef hides be delicious

this holiday season!

Everything From the Doorknobs Down

My mommy says

that she bought this chair

for me. 

Well, duh.

Everything in this house 

is mine.

HAPPY DAY!

Today we went to my most favoritest place in the world, 

Brimham Rocks. 

I know all the roads that go there.

I get to run around

play fetch

sniff the smells

chase the rabbits

chase the birds

climb the rocks

bash through the ferns and heather

and have so much fun.

Plus today we saw some dogs I know. 

That was fun, too.

I LOVE BRIMHAM!!!!!

OH MY DOG

there is a

TREE

IN

THE HOUSE.

Pretending to be Human

Yeah.  This is how ridiculous you humans look.

I was really cold, and apparently my mommy thought that the embarrassment of wearing this hat would warm me up.

Seriously.

Stupid Cows.

so today my mommy took me out on a walk and it was great and we played and walked all the way around the reservoir and then on the way home I was sniffing and having fun and climbing over the walls and it was great and then

I got stuck.

the stupid cows made their field smell so interesting with all their muck and poo and food and it was so mucky and 

I couldn't moooooooooooooove.

So my mommy rescued me and got me out and then we came home and now even though I'm free and I smell so good and I was gonna let brother smell all the good smells on me and everything and I was even going to share the muck 

I have to have a bath.

This is Why.

Mia that cat gets into all sorts of things.

Especially food.

I get yelled at for telling her to stop.

But she's STEALING THE DONUTS.

Yeah, We're Kind of Important Pooches

It's a tough job, being this ridiculously good looking.

But hey, someone's gotta do it. 

Oh, Wait...

You mean you don't get to play fetch

in front of 800+ year old castle ruins?

Oh... now I feel like you might think I'm bragging...

but yeah. 

 My life rocks.

Today and Yesterday

I got to spend with my Daddy. 

It was great.

I love hanging out with him,

even when that means laying across his legs

on the couch. 

He's super.

Wind is no fun.

It ruins EVERYTHING. 

First it makes the house noisy. 

Then it makes the door move when no one's touching it.

Then it makes my walks a lot less fun.

Plus my ball goes all over the place when we're playing fetch.

That's why I can't catch it.... yeah, that's it...

Oh well.  

It'll be winter soon.  

Snow is so much fun to pee on!

You Know You Want to be Me

Yep.  

Be Jealous.

This is my life.

My Busy Day

Today outside was mean.  

It was windy and rainy and cold.  

Mommy and Daddy still took Max and me out, 

but not for very long because neither of us liked it very much.  

After we got home I had to think of ways to entertain myself.  So...

I was SUPER helpful with Daddy's paper he was writing. 

And I played musical seats with everybody.  

We have this game in our family where when one person gets up I have to take their place.  

So if Daddy gets up, I have to take his seat.  Or if Mommy gets up, etc. 
For some reason I'm the only one who thinks it's fun. 

Well lately I've been just sitting on Brother because he never moves.  

But once I sit on him he sure does!  

This time it didn't work, though.   

I'm going to have to drop things on him next time, I can't lose my touch...

Errands suck. Especially when you don't get to actually do them.

Why do humans call taking care of random tasks "running errands"?  

You don't really run anywhere... you drive.  You should call it "driving errands". 

And no.  It is not fun for your dog to sit in the car and stare at other cars whizzing by while you go into shops.  If I can't go in the shop, sniff around, make Mommy a little nervous when I sniff something slightly too long and she gets worried I'm going to pee on it, then it's not fun.  
Oh, and yeah- sniffing something just slightly too long is one of my favorites- I can practically hear her saying "She NEVER pees inside!!!!"  
Someday I will.  Max has. 
 Of course, he was "just confused" 'cause it was a plant... whatever.  
He lies.

This is how I spend most of my days now that it's cold.  
I'm on the right- duh.  Brother is on the left under the brown blanket.  
I'm not entirely certain that Mommy doesn't just cover me up in hopes that I'm like a parrot 
and it'll make me go to sleep, 
but once I'm under there I'm too comfy to test it.  
Oh, well.

Bad Deeds Must Be Punished

So today I didn't get a real walk- or "adventure" as my mommy thinks I call it.  Daddy's gone all night to "work" (I don't believe in things I can't lick, chase, or pee on), and Mommy was there all day. 

 Since it's dark so early I only get a short walk down the street.  

On a lead.  

WHICH SUCKS.  

and doesn't count.  

Whoever this "work" is is really getting in the way of my maintaining my pee-spots.  They need checking- and often. You never know when some other dog is going to come along and ruin a perfect marking.

I'm thinking this warrants an oldie-but-goodie: paw at the covers and whine approximately every 45 minutes all night to wake Mommy up.   

Gotta go- I'd better get my sleep in now.  Gonna be a long night...

I'm doing an impression of my brother...

He sits like a human:

 (Yeah, he had surgery... this was his SIXTH.  I swear he fakes his x-rays for attention... glutton.) 

(Actually I am a very good big sister and even bring him my toys when he's recovering.  Of course, I promptly take them away again, but it's the thought that counts, right??)

Anyway, I decided to imitate him.  But it's crazy uncomfortable- what's wrong with that boy?!   Also, please note that my mommy CLEARLY loves Max more- she took his picture with her fancy camera, which I am SOO much better at posing in front of than him.  All I got was a poorly-pixellated photo booth snap from Mommy's stupid laptop.  I'm gonna "accidentally" step on that thing, I swear...)

Introduction. Or, as I like to call it, "Licking Your Face Over the Internet."

A simple description of my life would be as follows: 

I have a mommy and daddy, who, as befitting their positions, do *almost* everything I tell them to do.  

I have a little brother (Max) who is inconveniently bigger than me, but still knows that I am the boss and checks for my approval before every decision.  

I also have a little sister cat-shaped creature (Mia) who lives in our house and doesn't understand that she's supposed to play with me whenever I decide to pounce on her.